Prayer After Death of Loved One

May Christ, Who called you, take you to Himself; may angels lead you to Abraham's side.
R. Receive his/her soul and present him/her to God the Most High.

Give him/her eternal rest, O Lord, and may Your light shine upon him/her forever.
R. Receive his/her soul and present him/her to God the Most High.

Prayers for the Deceased for Forgiveness and Peace and for Mourners

Lord Jesus, our Redeemer, You willingly gave Yourself up to death so that all people might be saved and pass from death into a new life. Listen to our prayers; look with love on Your people who mourn and pray for their dead brother/sister.
Lord Jesus, You alone are holy and compassionate; forgive our brother/sister his/her sins.
By dying You opened the gates of life for those who believe in You; do not let Your brother/sister be parted from You, but by Your glorious power give him/her light, joy, and peace in heaven where You live for ever and ever. Amen.

My brother (sister) in faith, I entrust you to God Who created you. 
May you return to the One Who formed you from the dust of this earth. 
May Mary, the angels, and all the saints come to meet you as you go forth from this life. 
May Christ Who was crucified for you bring you freedom and peace. 
May Christ, the Son of God, Who died for you take you into His kingdom. 
May Christ, the Good Shepherd, give you a place within His flock. 
May He forgive your sins and keep you among His people.
May you see your Redeemer face to face and enjoy the sight of God forever. Amen.

A reading from the book of Wisdom 4: 4-15 (Jerusalem Bible translation)

The virtuous man, though he die before his time, will find rest. Length of days is not what makes age honourable, nor number of years the true measure of life; understanding, this is man’s grey hairs, untarnished life, this is ripe old age. He has sought to please God, so God has loved him; as he lived among sinners, he has been taken up.

He has been carried off so that evil may not warp his understanding or treachery seduce his soul; for the fascination of evil throws the good into the shade, and the whirlwind of desire corrupts a simple heart.

Coming to perfection in so short a while, he achieved long life; his soul being pleasing to the Lord, who has taken him quickly
from the wickedness around him.

Yet people look on, uncomprehending; it does not enter their heads that grace and mercy await the chosen of the Lord,
and protection, God’s holy ones. [This is the Word of the Lord.]

Other readings suggestions: Wisdom 3:1-6,9 | 1 Peter 1:3-9 | John 14:1-6 ~ link#2 | Romans 14: 7-12 | Apocalypse/Revelations 14: 13 | Lectionary Readings for funerals | 1Thessalonians 4:13-18 listen - click here and select from list | 

A Gospel acclamation: 'Happy are those who have died in the Lord; Let them rest from their labours for their good deeds go before them'

An alternative Hymn to Psalm 23:  "The king of love my Shepherd is" YouTube version

'Death is nothing at all' ~ Canon Henry Scott Holland of St. Paul's Cathedral | info

Death is nothing at all. I have only slipped away into the next room.
I am I, and you are you. Whatever we were to each other that we still are.
Call me by my old familiar name, speak to me in the easy way which you always used.
Put no difference in your tone, wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together. 

Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was,
let it be spoken without effect, without the trace of shadow on it.
Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was; there is unbroken continuity.
[There is absolute and unbroken continuity. What is this death but a negligible accident?]
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just around the corner. 

All is well. 
[editor's note: Some find the opening words unhelpful, death 'is something' huge for many, however as the remainder this writing is encouraging, you could vary or omit the opening lines] NB. see also "To Those I Love and Those Who Love Me" below

Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep
often erroneously referred to as "An Indian Prayer" by Mary Frye (1932) + Wilbur Skeels (lyrics ©1996) see wikipedia article

Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow;
I am the diamond glints on snow;
I am the sunlight on ripened grain;
I am the gentle Autumn's rain.

When you waken in the morning's hush;
I am the swift uplifting rush of quiet birds in circled flight;
I am the soft star that shines at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there, I did not die.

Version by Wilbur Skeels can't be shown here for copyright reasons.

A VARIATION:

In those quiet moments in the still of the night
Remember to rejoice and celebrate life
Do not think of me gone and weep
I am not there, I do not sleep
I am a thousand winds that blow
I am the diamond glints on snow
I am the sunlight on the grain
I am the gentle autumn's rain
When you awaken in the morning hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
of quiet birds in flight
I am the soft stars that shine
You will hear my gentle voice
and remember to rejoice
Never give up your fight
and remember always
to Celebrate Life.... ~ Anon

I'm Free

Don't grieve for me for now I'm free,
I'm following the path God laid for me.
I took his hand when I heard him call,
I turned my back and left it all.
I could not stay another day
To laugh, to love, to work or play. 
Tasks left undone will stay that way,
I found that peace at close of day.
If my parting has left a void
Then fill it with remembered joy
A friendship shared, a laugh a kiss,
Ah yes, these things I, too, will miss. >>

 

But not burdened with times of sorrow,
I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow.
My life has been full, I've savoured much.
Good friends, good times, a loved ones touch.
Perhaps my time seemed all to brief
Don't lengthen it now with undue grief,
Lift up you hearts and share with me,
God wanted me now,
He set me free. 

© Janice M. Fair-Salters, by kind permission of the author, published in "Voices From Beyond" available from Westbowpress online bookstore | see two other poems on this page (citation updated 05.2014 with thanks to author)

I'M NOT GONE
Don't cry for me ,
now that I am free.

Just look around anywhere,
and that is where I'll be.

For I am the daylight ,
when the sun starts to rise.

I'm the bright rainbow,
you see with your eyes.

I'm the tiny raindrops,
that sprinkle in the wind.

I'll always be here with you,
for there really is no end.

I'm the dew that's on the ground,
and the quietness all around.

Yes, I am so very happy,
with this new life I have found.

I'm the peaceful summer breeze,
that flows softly through the trees.

I'm the bluebird in the sky,
that sings with such ease.

Yes, I am so very happy,
so happy to be free.

Understand my family and friends
and don't you cry for me.
~  Sheila Pearce

'Farewell My Friends'
By Gitanjali Ghei (1961- 1977)

It was beautiful as long as it lasted, the journey of my life, I have no regrets whatsoever, save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care, and the heavy with sleep ever moist eyes, the smile in spite of a lump in the throat and the strings pulling at the heart and soul,
The strong arms that held me up when my own strength let me down, each morsel that I was fed with was full of love.
At every turning of my life I came across good friends, friends who stood by me, even when the time raced me by.
Farewell farewell my friends, I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears, for I need them not, all I need is your smile, If you feel sad, do think of me, for that's what I'll like, when you live in the hearts of those you love, remember then...... you never die. From - Poems of Gitanjali

Included here by kind permission of the family. Read about the author here (2021 broken link) A girl who died of cancer at the age of 16, wrote some of the most beautiful poems on death, compassion and faith in God. Poems link (2021 broken link) | Buy 'Poems of Gitanjali' Oriel Press ( Routledge & Kegan Paul) ISBN 0 85362 on Amazon | Poem is also here

To Those I Love And Those Who Love Me

When I am gone, release me, let me go.
I have so many things to see and do.
You mustn’t tie yourself to me with tears.
Be happy that we had so many years.
I gave you my love, you can only guess
How much you gave to me in happiness.

I thank you for the love you have shown.
But now it’s time I travelled alone.
So grieve a while for me, if grieve you must.
Then let your grief be comforted by trust.
It’s only for a while that we must part,
So bless the memories within your heart.
I won’t be far away. For life goes on.

So if you need me call and I will come.
Though you can’t see or touch me, I’ll be there.
And if you listen with your heart you’ll hear,
All of my love around you soft and clear.
And then when you must come this way alone,
I’ll greet you with a smile and welcome you home. ~ (Anon)

"Crossing The Bar"
by Alfred Lord Tennyson. info

Sunset and evening star,
     And one clear call for me!
And may there be no moaning of the bar,
     When I put out to sea,

But such a tide as moving seems asleep,
     Too full for sound and foam,
When that which drew from out the boundless deep
     Turns again home.

Twilight and evening bell,
     And after that the dark!
And may there be no sadness of farewell,
     When I embark;

For tho’ from out our bourne of Time and Place
     The flood may bear me far,
I hope to see my Pilot face to face
     When I have crossed the bar.

"Sea-Fever"
By John Masefield (1878-1967) (English Poet Laureate, 1930-1967.)

I must down to the seas again, to the lonely sea and the sky,
And all I ask is a tall ship and a star to steer her by,
And the wheel's kick and the wind's song and the white sail's shaking,
And a grey mist on the sea's face, and a grey dawn breaking.

I must down to the seas again, for the call of the running tide
Is a wild call and a clear call that may not be denied;
And all I ask is a windy day with the white clouds flying,
And the flung spray and the blown spume, and the sea-gulls crying.

I must down to the seas again, to the vagrant gypsy life,
To the gull's way and the whale's way where the wind's like a whetted knife;
And all I ask is a merry yarn from a laughing fellow-rover
And quiet sleep and a sweet dream when the long trick's over.

Read at funeral of an old sailing friend, 'M.T.' - R.I.P. 6th January 2012 

Miss Me But Let Me Go

When I come to the end of the road
and the sun has set on me,
I want no rites in a gloom filled room,
Why cry for a soul set free.

Miss me a little--but not too long,
and not with your head bowed low,
Remember the love that we once shared,
Miss me--but let me go.

For this is a journey that we all must take,
And each must go alone.
It's all a part of the Master's plan,
A step on the road to home.

When you are lonely and sick of heart,
Go to the friends we know.
And bury your sorrows in doing good deeds,
Miss me--but let me go.

© Janice M. Fair-Salters, by kind permission of the author, published in "Voices From Beyond" available from Westbowpress online bookstore | see two other poems on this page (citation updated 05.2014 with thanks to author as previously mis-attributed here to Edgar A. Guest, see his poems and links below)

 

Remember me when I am gone away.

Remember me when I am gone away.
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand.
Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future that you planned:
Only remember me:  you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had.
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than you should remember and be sad. 

~  Christina Rossetti

Don't Cry.

Daddy please don't look so sad,
Momma please don't cry.
Cause I'm in the arms of Jesus,
And He sings me lullabies.

Please try not to question God,
Don't think He is unkind.
Don't think He sent me to you
And then changed his mind.

You see I'm a special child,
I am needed up above.
I'm the special gift you gave Him,
A product of your love.

I'll always be there with you,
So watch the sky at night.
Look for the brightest star
And know that's my halo's brilliant light. >>

You'll see me in the morning frost
That mists your window pane.
That's me in the summer showers,
I'll be dancing in the rain.

When you feel a gentle breeze
From a gentle wind that blows.
Know that it is me
Planting a kiss upon your nose.

When you see a child playing
And your heart feels a tug,
Don't be sad mommy,
That's just me giving your heart a hug.

So daddy don't look so sad
And momma please don't cry.
I'm in the arms of Jesus
And He sings me lullabies! - Anon

see: 'A child of mine' website- Help for parents and families after the death of a child. - 'there to hold your hand through the difficult days ahead with information guidance and support from people who do understand'.

A Child of Mine (often cited as 'God's Lent Child')

I’ll lend you for a little while, a child of mine, God said
For you to love the while he lives and mourn for when he’s dead.
It may be six or seven years, or forty-two or three
But will you, till I call him back, take care of him for me?
He’ll bring his charms to gladden you and should his stay be brief
You’ll always have his memories as a solace in your grief.
I cannot promise he will stay, since all from earth return,
But there are lessons taught below I want this child to learn.
I’ve looked this whole world over in my search for teachers true
And from the folk that crowd Life’s lane I have chosen you.
Now will you give him all your love and not think the labour vain,
Nor hate me when I come to take this lent child back again?
I fancy that I heard them say “Dear God, thy will be done.
For all the joys this child will bring the risk of grief we’ll run.
We will shelter him with tenderness, we’ll love him while we may
And for all the happiness we’ve ever known, we’ll ever grateful stay.
But should the angels call him much sooner than we’d planned
We will brave the bitter grief that comes and try to understand.”

Edgar A. Guest (1881-1959) written in 1930? published 1949 in 'Living The Years', publisher: Chicago, Reilly & Lee Co. [often mis-stated as 'author unknown' - citation updated 08.2008 with thanks to ts for correction] | more poems - Bereaved parent support links links below

Heaven's Rocking Chair
by Ron Tranmer ©

Are there rocking chairs in Heaven
where little babies go?
Do the angels hold you closely
and rock you to and fro?

Do they talk silly baby talk
to get a smile or two,
and sing the sleepy lullabies
I used to sing to you?

My heart is aching for you,
my angel child so dear.
You brought such joy into my life,
the short time you were here.

I know you're in a happy place,
and in God's loving care.
I dream each night I'm rocking you
in Heaven's rocking chair. 

contributed by the author, August 2011 - see below for more

Teardrops And Rainbows
by Ron Tranmer ©

When sorrow comes into our lives
and tears of sadness fall,
they never go unnoticed,
God sees them one and all.

Our tears are very precious
In the eyes of our dear Lord,
He calls them up to special clouds
where they are safely stored.

When these clouds are heavy laden
from the weight which they contain,
moisture falls upon to the earth,
and our tears come down as rain.

Then when the rain has ended,
look to the sky above.
and when you see a rainbow
God is sending us His love.

He knows we all face sorrow,
and He knows we all feel pain.
That's why He sends a rainbow
after every tear filled rain.

Treasured Moments by Ron Tranmer ©

I treasure every moment
you spent in life with me.
I hoped to have you longer,
but it's not meant to be.

You left this world so suddenly.
I think my heart went too.
I feel so lost and lonely,
and I cry from missing you.

I know you're in a better place.
I know you're happy there.
I know one day I'll join you,
but the wait is hard to bear.

My heart feels like it's breaking
as I try to carry on.
You were my life, my everything,
but now sweetheart, you've gone.

I pray that God will give me strength
until He calls me too.
Then what joy will fill my heart
when I'm again with you.

Heavy Hearts by Ron Tranmer ©

With heavy hearts and tear filled eyes
family and friends bid you goodbye.
Gathered this day united in sorrow,
yet sure in faith of a brighter tomorrow.

Although you've gone, we feel you near.
You are so loved by everyone here.
You touched our lives in numerous ways.
and brightened many of our days.

Sharing memories of time with you
is something that we love to do.
We laugh, we cry, with joy and pain.
Goodbye for now, until we meet again.

Take My Hand by Ron Tranmer ©

Beyond Earth's veil I cannot see
but my faith is strong, I trust in Thee.
I know in time I'll understand.
Until then Lord, please take my hand.

My purpose here, may I fulfill,
and in all things do Thy will.
The trials of life may I withstand.
Walk with me Lord and take my hand.

Then when I breathe my final breath
and close my eyes in earthly death,
may I not leave this world alone.
Lord, take my hand and walk me home.

The Butterfly story

In a green meadow filled with Milkweed and flowers there lived a colony of caterpillars. They were a happy colony, living a quiet life in the cool shade. For many months they were very busy, scurrying around and munching on the soft Milkweed leaves.

They did notice that every once in a while one of the colony seemed to lose interest in crawling around with its friends. It would go off alone and crawl high up in the trees. It gradually moved out of sight and was seen no more.

“Look!” said one of the caterpillars to another, “one of our colony is climbing up to the tops of the trees. Where do you think he is going?” Up, up and up it slowly went…even as they watched, the caterpillar disappeared from sight. Its friends waited and waited but it didn’t return.

“That’s funny!” said one caterpillar to another. “Wasn’t he happy here?” asked another. “Where do you suppose he went ?” wondered a third. No one had an answer. They were greatly puzzled.

Finally one of the caterpillars gathered its friends together. “I have an idea. The next one of us who climbs to the tops of the trees must promise to come back and tell us where he or she went and why.” “We promise…” they all said solemnly.

One spring day not long after the caterpillar who had suggested the plan found himself climbing high up into the trees. Up up and up he went, higher and higher into the trees. Before he knew what was happening he had broken through the canopy of leaves into the warm sunlight and fell into a deep sleep.

When he awoke he looked about in surprise. He couldn’t believe what he saw. A startling change had come over his old body. He now had beautiful wings!

Even as he struggled he felt an impulse to move his wings. The warmth of the sun soon dried the moisture from his new body. He moved his wings again and suddenly found himself flying into the blue sky.

He had become a butterfly. Swooping and dipping in great curves he flew through the air. He felt exhilarated in the new atmosphere.
By and by the new butterfly landed on a leaf to rest. Then it was that he chanced to look below to the bottom of the meadow. Why, he was right above his old friends the caterpillars! There they were, crawling around and munching on Milkweed, just as he had been doing before.

Then the butterfly remembered his promise. Without thinking the butterfly darted down. He landed on a flower and looked into the grass. Now that he was a butterfly he could no longer go back.

“I can’t return!” he said in dismay. “At least I tried, but I can’t keep my promise. Even if I could go back, not one of the caterpillars would know me in my new body. I guess I’ll just have to wait until they become butterflies too. Then they’ll understand what has happened to me and where I went.”

And the butterfly winged off happily into its new world of sun and air.
Dear God, please remember those who have left the meadow we live in…and remember us who are still here.

When you feel Lonely

When You feel Lonely
When a person you love passes away
Look to the night sky on a clear day.
The star that to you, appears to be bright,
Will be your loved one,
Looking upon you during the night.
The lights of heaven are what shows through
As your loved one watches all that you do.
When you feel lonely for the one that you love,
Look to the Heavens in the night sky above.
 ~ anon

Remembrance

Remembrance is a golden chain
Death tries to break,
but all in vain.
To have, to love, and then to part
Is the greatest sorrow of one's heart.
The years may wipe out many things
But some they wipe out never.
Like memories of those happy times
When we were all together. 
~ anon

The Rose Beyond the Wall

 Near shady wall a rose once grew,
Budded and blossomed in God’s free light,

 Watered and fed by morning dew,
Shedding its sweetness day and night.

 As it grew and blossomed fair and tall,

Slowly rising to loftier height,
It came to a crevice in the wall
Through which there shone a beam of light.

 Onward it crept with added strength

With never a thought of fear or pride,
It followed the light through the crevice’s length
And unfolded itself on the other side.

 The light, the dew, the broadening viewWere found the same as they were before,
And it lost itself in beauties new,
Breathing its fragrance more and more.

 Shall claim of death cause us to grieve

And make our courage faint and fall?
Nay! Let us faith and hope receive—
The rose still grows beyond the wall,

 Scattering fragrance far and wide

Just as it did in days of yore,
Just as it did on the other side,
Just as it will forevermore. ~ A. L. Frink

Leaving a dear one

The family is not destroyed,
but transformed.
A part of it enters the invisible.

We believe that dying leads to absence,
when it really is a hidden presence.
We believe that it creates infinite distance,
when it does away with all distance
it returns to the spirit
what was for a time found in the flesh.

Every time someone leaves home and passes away
those left behind gain a link in heaven.

Heaven
is no longer home to angels,
unknown saints and a mysterious God,
but it becomes familiar.
It is the family house,
the house up above, so to speak.
From up there to down here,
memory, helping hands, calls
carry on.

F. Sertillanges

Traditional American Indian Prayer;
A Native American poem, possibly by Ishi, the last living member of the Yahi Native American tribe / people of The Pacific Northwest - [attribution contributed and amended 14/09/11]

When I am dead
Cry for me a little
Think of me sometimes
But not too much.
Think of me now and again
As I was in life
At some moments it's pleasant to recall
But not for long.
Leave me in peace
And I shall leave you in peace
And while you live
Let your thoughts be with the living.

<:))))<><

He put his arms around you, and lifted you to rest. God’s garden must be beautiful, He always takes the best. He saw the road was getting rough, and the hills were hard to climb. So He closed your weary eyelids, and whispered "Peace be thine". It broke our hearts to lose you, but you didn’t go alone. For part of us went with you, the day God called you home. Irish funeral prayer

God saw you getting tired and a cure was not to be. So He put His arms around you and whispered “come to me.” With tearful eyes we watched you, and saw you pass away. Although we loved you dearly, we could not make you stay. A golden heart stopped beating, hard working hands at rest. God broke our hearts to prove to us, He only takes the best. God looked around His garden,  and found an empty place. He then looked down upon the earth, and saw your tired face. Irish funeral prayer

<:))))<><

[Loved one’s name] Longing For One More Day. When we lose someone we love it seems that time stands still. What moves through us is a silence... a quiet sadness... A longing for one more day... one more word... one more touch... We may not understand why you left this earth so soon, or why you left before we were ready to say good-bye, but little by little, we begin to remember not just that you died, but that you lived. And that your life gave us memories too beautiful to forget. We will see you again some day, in a heavenly place where there is no parting. A place where there are no words that mean good-bye. Irish funeral prayer

Irish Bereavement blessings - broken link

"One day we will meet beside the river and our Lord will dry every tear. For now, we must live in the joy of that promise and recall that for every generation life is hard, but God is faithful." ~ Bodie Thoene

'Death is not extinguishing the light. It is putting out the lamp because the dawn has come.' ~ Rabindranath Tagore ~ Nobel Prize winner 1913 ~ more below 

'In one of the stars, I shall be living. In one of them, I shall be laughing. And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing when you look at the sky at night.' ~ The Little Prince ~ Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

'He who has gone, so we but cherish his memory, abides with us, more potent, nay, more present than the living man.' ~ Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

'Life is eternal and love is immortal; And death is only a horizon, And a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight.' ~ Rossiter W. Raymond

"Death is God's last and greatest gift to the living"  ~ Margaret Eadie

'Be of good cheer about death and know this as a truth - that no evil can happen to a good man, either in life or after death.' ~ Socrates

'The day which we fear as our last is but the birthday of eternity.' ~ Seneca

'I have died many a death in love, and yet, had I not loved I would never have lived at all.' ~ David Lasater

'Is death the last sleep? No - it is the last and final awakening.' ~ Sir Walter Scott 

'While we are mourning the loss of our friend, others are rejoicing to meet him behind the veil.' ~ John Taylor

'For what is it to die, But to stand in the sun and melt into the wind? And when the Earth has claimed our limbs, Then we shall truly dance.' ~ Kahlil Gibran

'I shall not die of a cold. I shall die of having lived.' ~ Willa Cather

If we really think that home is elsewhere, and that this life is a 'wandering to find home,' why should I not look forward to the arrival? ~ C. S. Lewis

'Remember the man who served his almighty Creator, his country, his community, and most of all, his family. He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often, and loved much; who has enjoyed the trust of pure women, the respect of intelligent men, and the love of little children; who has filled his niche and accomplished his task; who has left the world better than he found it, whether an improved poppy, a perfect poem, or a rescued soul; who has always looked for the best in others and given them the best he had; whose life was an inspiration; whose memory a benediction.' ~ Bessie Anderson Stanley ??

'Let us all understand that death is not an eraser. It does not remove the deeds or the meanings that existed in anyone's life. It does not make poor men rich or great men fallible. And when death comes, let us not romanticize its presence nor the person it takes from us. Let us see death for what it really is: a border that we all must cross; a border that, more than any other, defines the lives we are able to lead. Do not mourn for those who cross over. Rather, reflect on the definition they've left behind. It is the only truth we are able to know here on earth. When the definition is great, then celebrate it. When it is lacking, then learn from it and improve on it. And use it to make your own definition more truthful and loving and miraculous.' ~ from 'Gideon' by Russell Andrews

'Looking back on the memory of the dance we shared, beneath the stars above, for a moment all the world was right. How was I to know that you'd ever say goodbye?
And now I'm glad I didn't know the way it all would end, the way it all would go.
Our lives are better left to chance.
I could have missed the pain, but I'd have had to miss the dance.' ~ Garth Brooks, The Dance 

'They that love beyond the world cannot be separated by it. Death cannot kill what never dies.' ~ William Penn | more

"Death is not a period but a comma in the story of life." ~ Amos J. Farver

''Besides, the ones that love us never really leave us. You can always find them... [puts hand over Harry's heart]... in here.'' ~ Sirius Black - from 'Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban':

"Do you not know that a man is not dead while his name is still spoken?” ~ Terry Pratchett, 'Going Postal'.

Remembering the Dead by Henri J.M. Nouwen

When we lose a dear friend, someone we have loved deeply, we are left with a grief that can paralyse us emotionally for a long time. People we love become part of us. Our thinking, feeling and acting are codetermined by them: Our fathers, our mothers, our husbands, our wives, our lovers, our children, our friends ... they are all living in our hearts. 

When they die a part of us has to die too. That is what grief is about: It is that slow and painful departure of someone who has become an intimate part of us. When Christmas, the New Year, a birthday or anniversary comes, we feel deeply the absence of our beloved companion. We sometimes have to live at least a whole year before our hearts have fully said good-bye and the pain of our grief recedes. But as we let go of them they become part of our "members" and as we "re-member" them, they become our guides on our spiritual journey.

Taking the Sting Out of Death by Henri J.M. Nouwen

Dying is returning home. But even though we have been told this many times by many people, we seldom desire to return home. We prefer to stay where we are. We know what we have; we do not know what we will get. Even the most appealing images of the afterlife cannot take away the fear of dying. We cling to life, even when our relationships are difficult, our economic circumstances harsh, and our health quite poor. Still, Jesus came to take the sting out of death and to help us gradually realise that we don't have to be afraid of death, since death leads us to the place where the deepest desires of our hearts will be satisfied. It is not easy for us to truly believe that, but every little gesture of trust will bring us closer to this truth.

Excerpts from 'Bread for the Journey', by Henri J.M. Nouwen, ©1997

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• Age Concern England

• Samaritans UK

• CRUSE bereavement care - Offers free information and advice to anyone who has been affected by a death - Provides support and counselling one to one and in groups - Offers education, support, information and publications to anyone supporting bereaved people - Increases public awareness of the needs of bereaved people through campaigning and information services

• UK Care Guide - has an infographic and help article to break down the steps that someone needs to go through when they have lost a loved one. Their wider mission is to help people face issues as they get older, with helpful advice and guidance.  

• Winston's Wish - a charity supporting bereaved children and young people.

• Care for the Family - giving hope to the bereaved >> bereavement support organisations an extensive list

• Many resources are on the website of Funeral Helper

• The Compassionate Friends (UK)  - (TCF) is an organisation of bereaved parents and their families offering understanding, support and encouragement to others after the death of a child or children. They also offer support, advice and information to other relatives, friends and professionals who are helping the family.

• Child Death Helpline  ~ for all those affected by the death of a child. also telephone (UK) 0800 282986. Volunteers are needed to work in this service. - www.childdeathhelpline.org.uk/ 

• SANDS - The Stillbirth and Neonatal Death Society

• A Little Lifetime Foundation the voice for bereaved parents and their families across Ireland.

• Child Bereavement UK (formerly 'The Child Bereavement Trust')

• A child of mine - Help for parents and families after the death of a child - 'there to hold your hand through the difficult days ahead with information guidance and support from people who do understand'.

• St Paul's Miscarriage & Infant Loss Support Group - Miscarriage & Infant Loss Memorial Book Ministry - For all who have lost a baby from conception to 1 year old. The Miscarriage & Infant Loss Memorial Book is kept at Tintagel Catholic Church and administered from Füssen, Bavaria, Deutschland. It is placed on the altar at all Masses celebrated in Tintagel. -  An annual Mass is celebrated in remembrance of all babies who have died from conception to 1 year old and their families. (future dates not known - please contact them direct) at the Catholic Church of St Paul the Apostle, Tintagel, Cornwall, UK. Those who cannot attend the Mass are invited to join them in prayer on that day remembering the intentions they are praying for. more | wikipedia

• Morning Light Ministry is a Catholic ministry for bereaved mothers and fathers who have experienced the death of their baby through ectopic pregnancy, miscarriage, stillbirth or infant death up to one year old. This Catholic ministry also welcomes bereaved parents of other Christian denominations, bereaved parents of other faiths and bereaved parents of no religious affiliation who are struggling with the very notion of faith.

• Babyloss support groups

• "And Should The Angels Call" ~ A poem, especially for those mourning the loss of a child.

• Losing a Loved One from 'The Art of Dying Well' website, offers a helping hand to those grappling with issues around death and dying. Based in the Catholic tradition but open to all, it features real-life stories about the highs and lows of dealing with the final journey. Professionals in palliative care, ethics, chaplaincy and history have informed the site content.

• The Dying Matters coalition is encouraging people to talk about their wishes towards the end of their lives. It’s in everyone’s interest to talk about it, before it’s too late; see also their resources page.

• WAY Widowed and Young support

• A Lesson in Grief - by Judith MacNutt - now links to 'Christian Healing Ministries' by Judith and Francis MacNutt. A Christ-centered, ecumenical, and non-profit organization that is dedicated to the practice and teaching of healing prayer.

• The Find a Bereavement Counsellor Directory will help you find bereavement support in the UK, listing  counsellors, support groups and charities.

• Bereavement from The Royal College of Psychiatrists.

• Bereavement Counselling Directory - Find a qualified, registered, professional bereavement counsellor near you [UK] - and many useful articles - website also contains a number of sections on other emotional disorders (types of distress section)

• 'Funeralocity' has many resource links (a USA site)

• Journey of Hearts - an online healing place for anyone grieving

• Endings and Beginnings - A collection of poetry and quotes for everyone who has had to say goodbye too soon.

• Funeral Readings, Funeral Poetry, Memorial for the Dead

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• Guidelines for RC funerals PDF | booklet pdf | When someone dies - a guide pdf | Burial of ashes - a guide pdf

• Music suggestions for funerals pdf | A parish musician's guide to the Order of Christian Funerals pdf | booklet pdf 

• Requiem Mass also known as Mass for the dead

• Ministration at the Time of Death | general

• Lectionary Readings for funerals

•  

• Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide -  SOBS  is a self-help, voluntary organisation. Many of those helping have, themselves, been bereaved by suicide. It exists to meet the needs and break the isolation of those bereaved by the suicide of a close relative or friend.

• 'Help is at Hand' (NHS) a pdf resource for people bereaved by suicide and other sudden, traumatic death

•  'Coping with Suicide loss' (a USA site)

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• Miscarriage online memorial sites (links)

• Light A Candle in memory

• World Day of Remembrance for Road Traffic Victims

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• comfort-for-bereavement | prayers page | poems1 | poems2

• Grief words: These articles provide guidance and direction for anyone touched by grief.

• The Bereavement Register is a service with one simple aim: To reduce the amount of direct mail to those who have died.

Pray for the Souls of all deceased parishioners in whose memory this page is dedicated [and for all bereaved families and friends] In your kindness pray also for souls who have no one to pray for them. Into Your hands Lord we commend them. Eternal rest grant unto them and let perpetual light shine upon them.  May they rest in peace - Requiescant in pace, Amen

"As we enter Heaven, we will see them, so many of them, coming towards us and thanking us. We will ask who they are and they will say: 'A poor soul you prayed for in Purgatory!' " ~ Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen 

Prayer for 'Healing the Family Tree' | Homilies for All Saints Day (2011)

Catholic Teaching on Purgatory | Wikipedia | "It is a holy and wholesome thought to pray for the dead that they may be loosed from their sins" (2 Mac 12:46) | Novena prayer 'For the Relief of the Poor Souls in Purgatory' as published in 1931.

'The Secret of the Poor Souls in Purgatory' - An interview with the Austrian mystic Maria Simma of Austria (broken link, try a search)
"Get us out of here" by Nicky Eltz who documents the experiences of the Austrian mystic Maria Simma (broken link, try a search)

Medjugorje message November 6, 1986 "Dear children! Today I wish to call you to pray daily for souls in purgatory. For every soul prayer and grace is necessary to reach God and the love of God. By doing this, dear children, you obtain new intercessors who will help you in life to realize that all the earthly things are not important for you, that only Heaven is that for which it is necessary to strive. Therefore, dear children, pray without ceasing that you may be able to help yourselves and the others to whom your prayers will bring joy. Thank you for having responded to my call."

Prayer of St. Gertrude the Great. Our Lord told St. Gertrude the Great, that the following prayer would release 1,000 souls from Purgatory each time it is said. The prayer was extended to include living sinners which would alleviate the indebtedness accrued to them during their lives. "Eternal Father, I offer Thee the Most Precious Blood of Thy Divine Son, Jesus, in union with the masses said throughout the world today, for all the holy souls in Purgatory, for sinners everywhere, for sinners in the universal church, those in my own home and within my family. Amen." more info  [St. Gertrude's life was the mystic life of the Cloister – a Benedictine nun. She meditated on the Passion of Christ, which many times brought a flood of tears to her eyes. She did many penances and Our Lord appeared to her many times. She had a tender love for the Blessed Virgin and was very devoted to the suffering souls in Purgatory. She died in 1334. Her feast day is November 16th.]

Intergenerational Healing and Prayer for Deliverance and Protection (Intergenerational Healing)

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